No one is a perfect parent.
Neither my husband nor I are. But
when reflecting on visions of good fathering, I’d be remiss to not mention my
own husband.
As I’ve mentioned before, when our second child was a baby, my
husband gave up his own successful corporate accounting career so that he could
stay home with our kids full-time. He
gave up a gratifying, respected and lucrative career to be there for them.
It has not been easy.
Being a full-time caregiver is draining and challenging for a host of
reasons. And as a male, he hasn’t always
had a lot of support outside our family.
He has demonstrated self-sacrifice, humility and strength of character
in taking this path. I’m very proud of
him.
Because he has been home with our kids the most, he has taught
them a lot. He successfully potty-trained
both of our kids. He has taught both of
them to read. He has taught our older
child to wash dishes and fill the dishwasher.
He has taught our younger child to sweep the kitchen. He has taught both of them to cut up fruits
and vegetables.
My husband has gone to their various lessons to take notes and
help our kids practice at home. For
months, he attended weekly Mandarin lessons that were incomprehensible to
me. He cobbled together enough of what
was happening to quiz the kids and help them with their homework. He goes to our child’s Ballet Folklórico
class to study the intricate moves, and then practices with her at home. He has attended the other child’s
skateboarding lessons to figure the theory behind the cool moves to help her to
do them properly.
At various times in our domestic life together, my husband and I
have traded housekeeping duties. When he
first began doing a fair amount of cooking, I was demoralized how fast he
exceeded my own skill-level. I’m once
again the main cook at our house, but he remains the master of the waffle iron
and the bread machine. My man can make
the best waffles and wheat bread!
My husband has also instilled a love for reading in our
kids. Years ago he began getting audio
books from the local library. He and our
kids listened to L. Frank Baum’s “Wizard of Oz” books while they ran errands. More recently, he has entertained our whole
family by reading aloud from the Bunnicula series.
He has also taught our kids to be brave. Under his tutelage, our younger child bravely
kills (or takes outside) spiders and insects that dare come inside our home. When our older child gets scared by movies,
she notes (as her Papa has explained) that the villain is really just a kindly
grandma or papa with lots of make-up and a crazy costume in front of a green
screen.
Under the general category of “taking care of business,” I am
always amazed at how my husband (who is a fairly big guy with pretty large
hands) can do our daughters’ hair. Not
only is it a mystery for the ages how his big fingers can maneuver the little
elastic fasteners and braid their hair so delicately, it is amazing how my guy
can make girl hair socially presentable when he himself hasn’t had prior
experience with such styles. My husband
never went through a hippy phase. His
hair has never been more than a couple inches longer. Yet when he became a dad to daughters, he stepped
up to the plate and took on the task of hairstyling pretty adeptly.
Finally, my husband does countless little things around the
house to take care of our family.
Despite frequently reminding me that he was trained as an accountant and
his protestations that he is no Bob Villa, my husband has installed numerous
ceiling fans in all the homes we’ve lived in during the decade and a half that
we’ve been a family. He has even
mustered enough carpentry skills to custom build extensive shelving units in
the two homes we’ve owned during that time.
He has hauled tons of soil, plants and gravel to our backyards. He has assembled IKEA furniture and children’s
play sets. He even built me a patio
where some day I hope to have time to read and relax. On top of all this, my husband is an absolute
wiz at Excel spreadsheets, troubleshoots issues with cell phones, computers and
DVD players, and monitors due dates to make sure we don’t incur overdue fines
at the local library.
Life is hard. Our
families are a vital support system to make it through the challenges. One of the key values that my husband and I
try to instill in our kids is that everyone has a responsibility to support and
help each other out in a family. One of
our favorite phrases is “All hands on deck!”
I’m really proud of my husband for being a good role model of that
attitude. I don’t know what our family
would do without him!
Proverbs 4:1
Listen, my sons, to a father’s
instruction; pay attention and gain understanding.
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